Time for a St. Louis Revolt?

The modern NRA is not the same as the NRA before 1977. They were just a marksmanship organization that wouldn’t fight back against the anti-gun forces. They even helped craft the 1968 Gun Control Act. So why is it that today’s NRA isn’t on board with Alan Gura’s Second Amendment Foundation? To hear the NRA tell it, they won Heller and McDonald. They even tried to mess up Alan’s case down here in North Carolina, Bateman vs. Perdue, by trying to change the law before we could get a Federal judge to invalidate it.
Maybe it’s time for another revolt. We have some time to get this worked out before the St. Louis convention. We need a slate of candidates for the NRA Board. Apparently we have 25 slots to fill. Since we bloggers have all the answers, maybe we should be in charge. Here’s my proposals.
1.       Alan Gura – A no brainer. We’ll get him on the NRA Board, stopping the NRA from messing with their lawsuits
2.       Alan Gottlieb – Another no brainer. He’s the other Alan of the SAF wrecking crew.
3.       Mike Vanderboegh – this would be epic. And it’s only fair that he get rewarded for his tireless efforts uncovering and publicizing Gunwalker
4.       David Codrea – Gunwalker, Gunwalker, Gunwalker. Along with Mike, who knows more about the ATF’s shenanigans?
5.       Glenn Reynolds – Will advocate for happily married gay couples with closets full of machine guns.
6.       Say Uncle – Doesn’t have too many ideas of his own any more, but he’ll tell you about a good idea he just heard.
7.       Breda – Someone needs to show the ladies that they can wear skirts and halter tops and no one will notice that they are open carrying.
8.       Kevin Baker – Kevin will be prepared at any time to drop 100,000 words of extensively footnoted explanations on one of two subjects. How gun control is racist, sexist, immoral, and fattening. And how American schooling is designed by socialists to teach conformism and government control to kids in an effort to demoralize future generations and make them less likely to try to control their own destiny. These two items are related in that they have the same root, the natural tendency of elites (The rest of Kevin Baker’s election statement may be viewed at his site, HERE)
9.       JayG – Because he has most of the guns, and he’s scary looking. We will have him take care of anti-gun organization outreach.
10.   Tam K – Tam will head up the Communications department. Sometimes people just need to be told. Tam will tell them. And once Tam tells someone, they stay told.
11.   Robb Allen – With his graphics skills, Robb will bring a wealth of humor and style to the graphic presentation of official NRA communications. He will work with Tam so that between them even illiterate anti-gunners will know that they’ve been told.
12.   Dave Hardy – Sometimes some of the less political of gun owners have trouble understanding what Alan and Alan are up to. Dave will explain that to them. In between his research, of course.
13.   Kenn Blanchard – Someone needs to pray for our enemies. Kenn’s nice enough to remember them even though I don’t think that they deserve it.
14.   Me – I will spend most of my time pointing out the difference between the regular average citizen gun owner and the criminal class that causes the vast majority of the crime. And I promise to reduce crime by shooting any home invaders with the Kriss Vector I’ll buy as soon as I sell enough t-shirts. I will also take over as the NRA representative for North Carolina, making sure that the NRA stops stepping all over GRNC.
We have some more spots open in our list. Add other nominees in the comments below!

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16 responses to “Time for a St. Louis Revolt?

  1. Joe Huffman, somebody to take on the “E” in “BATFE.” And he’s a pretty good “philosophizer”.

  2. Oleg Volk. Because no one photographs naked chicks with guns better than Oleg.

  3. Alan @ snarkybytes, and maybe Stingray

  4. John Richardson – No Lawyers – Only Guns and Money

    w/v = “uncoma” – To remove from a coma…

  5. Larry Correia-because someone needs to get the 4 million members ready for the zombipocalypse if humanity is to survive.

  6. Would Mike get to drive the Wienermobile?

  7. @Newbius: Mike would be given the keys and asked to drive the weinermobile straight to Knob Creek. He might “accidentally” park it downrange. That would be too bad.

  8. Good ones Sean!!! :-)

  9. I nominate Kim du Toit, who closed his blog down when he had said all that he could say on the subject of gun rights. It takes a smart man to know when to quit because you’ve won.

  10. Sean:

    Thanks for that (*cough*) accurate description. I second ALL of the nominations in comments. I think Stingray, Breda and Tam together would make an unforgettable Communications team. Tam could handle the media, writing hilariously funny (and pointed) press releases, and Stingray could be our lobbyist. He would frighten the lawmakers by sending them emails with links they dare not click on. Breda would be the NRA press secretary, standing in front of the cameras – and I quote: “openly wearing a prosthesis, short shorts, and a halter top.” Do you think they would notice the Bersa on her hip? It would make their heads explode!

  11. @Kevin: You’re welcome. I like the recommendations in the comments too. My only concern is that they are so good that I will quickly be pushed off the ballot by better choices!

  12. Tam’s Roommate, Roberta X would be good addition to the mix. Also Brigid, Amanda (Chasing Freedom), Nancy R, heck let’s put a whole bunch of Ladies in charge and break up that “Good Ol ‘Boys” network.

  13. Better make sure every NRA press event is in 90+ degree (and 70% humidity!) weather in that case, Kevin.

  14. @Breada – just hold all the pressers in South TX. That’s spring weather here. :)

    Also, @Sean? Sometimes people just need to be told. Tam will tell them. And once Tam tells someone, they stay told.

    That right there is without a doubt the Internet Quote of the Day. I larfed a lot.

    tweaker