Category Archives: Meanwhile in X paradise

Meanwhile in Sarah Brady Paradise: Armored Car Robbery edition

You’d think that with handguns banned heavily restricted* that things like this would be impossible.

A sum of money has been stolen from a cash delivery van during an armed robbery in south Belfast.

A security guard was threatened by a man believed to be carrying a gun outside the Centra on the Ormeau Road about 08:00 BST on Sunday.

It’s like gun control doesn’t stop crime or something.

* Roberta X, in comments has pointed out that gun laws in Northern Ireland are not quite as restrictive as in (Formerly Great) Britain

However a firearm certificate for a personal protection weapon will only be authorised where the Police Service of Northern Ireland deems there is a ‘verifiable specific risk’ to the life of an individual and that the possession of a firearm is a reasonable, proportionate and necessary measure to protect their life.

Meanwhile in Rebecca Peters Paradise: Storming a Rival Club edition

So, you’re a biker gang, sitting in your “clubhouse.” It’s Australia, so there’s strong anti-gun laws. It should be relatively safe from gun violence, right?

Men in balaclavas, carrying baseball bats and a gun, stormed a Rebels clubhouse on the state’s south coast overnight, leaving four club members seriously injured in hospital.

Investigators have been told that sometime before 9pm last night, the victims were in the house on Hawke Street, Huskisson – long known to locals as a Rebels club house – when four men forced their way into the property and assaulted them.

One of the intruders then shot at the group, before they fled.

Three of the victims arrived at Shoalhaven Hospital at about 9.15pm last night with such serious injuries that hospital staff initially told police three people had been shot, two with life-threatening head wounds.

However, police have since clarified that a 27-year-old man had been shot in the leg, while two others – aged 39 and 37 – have serious head injuries.

I guess they forgot to add the important “Not Even Biker Gang Members Are Allowed to Own Guns” section to the law. That would have made all the difference, I think. Probably the invading gang mistakenly thought that the law against guns didn’t apply to them.

Meanwhile in Sarah Brady Paradise: Drugs Make You Stupid edition

I think that drugs either make you stupid, or increase the stupid you already have. Dude was smoking pot outside a house, so the cops snatched him up, along with everyone in his house.

Three people have been arrested after a gun, ammunition and drugs were found in a house by police in Merseyside.

One of the guys in the house had a gun in a bag he was carrying.

Here’s some basic things that anyone with the most rudimentary common sense should be able to understand.

  1. If you’re going to break the law, don’t do it in the middle of the street.
  2. If you’re going to hang out with people, don’t hang out with people who are so stupid that they smoke pot in the middle of the street.
  3. If you’re going to hang out with people that stupid, don’t have a gun in a country that absolutely bans handguns.
  4. If you run a country, don’t ban honest and responsible citizens from having guns. That means that the only people who have guns are people so stupid and irresponsible that they hang out with druggies who smoke pot in the middle of the street.

There’s a whole lot of fail here.

Meanwhile in Rebecca Peters Paradise: Specifically Targeted Hit edition

Generally, hosing down a car with gunfire happens only in Hollywood movies and during police stops of cars in Florida. So why did it happen in Australia where guns are tightly regulated?

NSW Police Commissioner Andrew Scipione says a double shooting overnight was believed to have been a specifically targeted hit.

Two men died in hospital overnight after being shot multiple times while sitting in a parked ute in the western Sydney suburb of South Wentworthville about 9pm yesterday. A search is under way for the gunman.

I guess that they’re gun control doesn’t work so well at keeping murderers and other criminals from having guns. It seems to work well at keeping regular honest folks from having them, though.

Maybe that’s all they wanted to do.

Meanwhile in Dermot Ahern Paradise: Another One Dead in Ireland edition

For a country bent on preventing the emergence of “gun culture,” they seem to have a bit of a murder problem.

A man has been killed in a gun attack in Dublin in the Republic of Ireland.

All the way across the country from another one that happened in County Clare the day before.

Wasn’t banning guns supposed to stop this sort of thing?

Meanwhile in Dermot Ahern Paradise: Shot Outside the Hotel edition

We know what the Irish think about “gun culture.” God forbid that honest Irish citizens have guns and use them for sport, recreation, or self-defense. Amazingly enough their gun banning ways haven’t stopped criminals from using guns.

Irish police have begun a murder investigation after a man died in hospital, two days after he was shot outside a hotel in County Clare.

The 21-year-old man was approached by two men in the car park of the hotel in Bunratty and shot a number of times in the early hours of Sunday.

But we all know that the most important thing to do is write one more law that will stop honest people from getting guns.

Meanwhile in Rebecca Peters Paradise: Sawed Off Shotgun and a Fright Wig edition

He was not only a criminal but a walking fashion disaster.

A man wearing a “most unattractive” wig robbed a Camberwell bank armed with a double-barrel shotgun because he needed cash to pay his lawyer for a pending court appearance.

David Kruzenga, 30, terrified a teller on March 24 this year when he put the unloaded 12 gauge shotgun on a counter and demanded money.

He stole the gun from his father’s gun repair business and sawed it down to size.

This just goes to show you that when someone decides to become a criminal, they don’t let a little thing like not owning a gun slow them down. They steal what they need, modify it how they want, and don’t care about all the other laws they are breaking.

Meanwhile in Sarah Brady Paradise: Armed Robber Shot edition

The cops were hoping to catch him at the airport but he escaped. They caught him at a local hospital three weeks later.

A suspected armed robber who went on the run has been arrested in hospital.

Anthony Morrison, 33, was dropped off at North Manchester General Hospital on Sunday after being shot in the chest, police said.

He had flown in to Manchester airport from Amsterdam on 6 July but fled from police who were at the airport to arrest him in connection with a robbery in Oldham in October 2011.

No one’s really sure how he got shot, but it does seem to fit with the general “criminals get shot more often” pattern we see here in the USA.

Someone needs to explain to me why a country that absolutely bans handguns has armed robbers getting shot. Isn’t that exactly the sort of thing that gun laws were intended to prevent? Armed robbers, and gunshot wounds?

Meanwhile in Rebecca Peters Paradise: Straight through the Door edition

So you live in Australia. You’re in your own home. Your government makes it illegal to own any semi-auto centerfire rifles, pump shotguns, and makes pistols extremely difficult to get. You should feel pretty safe from gun violence, right?

A 24-year-old man is undergoing surgery after being shot in the arm at his home north of Brisbane yesterday.

It is understood the gun was fired through the front door of the man’s Colonial Drive house in Lawnton about 3.30pm, with the bullet hitting his arm.

Whoops.

You have to hope that a track record of massive failure will eventually lead people to question this stupid policy of disarming the law-abiding while doing nothing to stop criminals from having all the guns they like.

Meanwhile in Sarah Brady Paradise: Gun Attacks All By Itself edition

It’s nice to see that British reporters are as bad with the English language as our own reporters. They call it a “Gun Attack,” as if the gun attacked all by itself.

A man and a woman have escaped injury in a gun attack in Coleraine.

Three shots were fired at the house in the the Crescent housing estate.

Newsflash: the gun didn’t attack anyone. It was a person using the gun to attack people. A person who was willing to break all the relevant laws against trying to harm people, and was somehow not slowed down by the laws against having guns in (Formerly Great) Britain.

Isn’t gun control awesome? It works so well!