Low flow toilets are a plot against marriage

My tinfoil hat rant of the month.

People like to tout the difference in voting patterns between men and women. Women are more likely to vote for liberal (usually Democrat) candidates while men are more likely to vote for conservative (usually Republican) candidates. What they generally miss is that the gap actually exists between married women and single women. The unmarried women are more likely to vote for liberal candidates.

Low flow toilets were mandated in the Energy Policy Act signed by George H.W. Bush in 1992. Rather than use the previous norm of about 3.5 gallons per flush, they now use 1.6 gallons per flush. I think that this was one of the most self defeating laws ever signed by a Republican.

I think that low flow toilets are an insidious plot against marriage because they don’t work very well. A man goes to do his business and flushes the toilet. Generally he gets out quickly, trusting that any competent engineer would have designed a toilet that properly moves the waste products out of the bowl and into the sewer. Men trust that the guys with the slide rules and the green eyeshades know what they are doing and generally have more important things to do that supervise what is essentially water flowing downhill. Unfortunately, what really happened was that the toilet engineers were overridden by bureaucrats who thought they knew better. The bureaucrats decided that it was a moral imperative that they reduce the amount of water being used to flush the toilet.  Men, being unlikely to feel the need to supervise their household conveniences, got blindsided with this.

The practical effect of the reduction of water flow is that for the last 20 years, as these toilets have been phased in, men have caught hell for not flushing the toilet. Their wives get angry because there’s a little floating present left behind in the bowl. Now this won’t end a strong marriage, but it could add stress to an already shaky one. When spread over a few million marriages, who knows how many were negatively affected?

I think that the environmentalists, who have always been part of the far left in America, realized a long time ago that by adding stress to already shaky marriages, they could grow the number of divorced women, who are more likely to vote for liberal candidates.

It’s a plot, I tell you! A plot!


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3 responses to “Low flow toilets are a plot against marriage

  1. I can’t stand all the mandated water saving shit the .gov passes. I live in freaking MICHIGAN. We have no shortage of fresh water! Why the hell do we need low flow toilets and showers!?

  2. Yeah, I remember we had to “DO SUMPI’N” because all the water was getting dirty!! And, and,,,we can’t reuse dirty water!!!

    Um…Think of “The CHILLEN!!” do you want them to live on an earth that has dirty water that they can’t drink?

    I guess that was before Brawndo was invented.

  3. Sean,

    For many years, I had the old fashioned, 3.5 gal toilets anyway. But now that I have moved into a house that has 1.6 gal toilets, it is not uncommon for me to flush twice, thus twarting the intent of the legislation in the first place.

    Keep the .gov out of my bathroom!