I’ll bet you didn’t know that another one of the stupid concealed carry rules in North Carolina is that you can’t carry a gun in a theater. That’s right, the same law that bans guns in restaurants bans guns in any place that charges admission.
(a) It shall be unlawful for any person to carry any gun, rifle, or pistol into any assembly where a fee has been charged for admission thereto, or into any establishment in which alcoholic beverages are sold and consumed. Any person violating the provisions of this section shall be guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor.
The Charlotte Observer, never one to miss a chance to sell newspapers on another person’s tragedy no matter how far away, discusses the “heightened” security at local theaters.
AMC Theatres, which runs the Northlake theater, released a statement Friday, saying “we are actively working with local law enforcement in communities throughout the nation and under the circumstances we are reaching out to all of our theatres to review our safety and security procedures.”
Here’s the comment that I left for them.
Hey, this is North Carolina. What do we have to worry about? The North Carolina General Assembly has made it ILLEGAL to carry a gun in any place that charges admission! Theaters charge admission, so therefore it’s ILLEGAL to carry a gun there. Isn’t that awesome?
Carrying a gun in a theater is just as illegal as using a gun to murder everyone inside that theater, so we have nothing whatsoever to fear. Anyone who wants to murder people in the theater with guns will realize that guns are BANNED in theaters and won’t even try.
Great job NC General Assembly! You guys think of everything!
Sometimes I think that “civilization” is just one giant game of “Let’s Pretend.” No one seems to have any connection with reality. They all seem to follow the Tinker Bell theory of reality creation. If they wish hard enough and believe strongly enough…
I can’t find video, but when I worked at Disneyland in the late ’80s, the announcer would say
“If you wish hard enough and believe strongly enough, Tinkerbell will appear and light this evening’s Fantasy in the Sky.”
Then Tinkerbell, who was a stuntman and was standing on top of the Matterhorn, would light her lights and slide down the zipline. She’d wave, zooming down the line, and run smack into two guys holding a mattress in a tower behind Fantasyland. She was rumored to make stunt pay of $500 a slide in the late ’80s.
From then on, this phrase is what I use to make fun of those people who think the world gives a damn about their wants and desires. Only a self-centered jackass would dream that the laws of physics would bend around their will.