This is why I can’t be a Public Information Officer (*Language Warning*)

I just don’t have the patience to deal with self-centered assholes. (Language warning, obviously)

Jeers to Hoke County Animal Control. A dog was hit on U.S. 401 Business but was still breathing and whimpering. Animal Control was contacted. I sat and soothed the dog while they were on their way.

The officer who showed up was very rude and inhumane. He was going to shoot the poor dog on the side of the road in public view. He did not take into consideration the safety of others or that animal lovers like myself or a small child could have seen this.

Here’s the response this tool would have received from Sean, Public Information Officer-at-Large.

Dear Self-Centered Asshole,

Toughen up, Buttercup. While you were whining on the side of the road, trying to prove your “compassion,” our animal control officer was trying to keep the poor animal from suffering any longer. You see, our animal control officer actually loves animals. He took this job because there were assholes in this world who, out of meanness or plain self centeredness, would treat animals like shit. Some assholes beat or starve their dogs. Others are so horrified by death that they’d rather force an animal to endure another hour of suffering as well as a bumpy truck ride just so that they don’t have to actually see the dog be put out of his misery.

Do you see what I’m getting at here? That dog suffered. It suffered miserably. It had broken bones, was bleeding, and suffered terrible internal injuries. If it had a voice and could ask for what it needed, it would have asked you to end its suffering immediately. Instead, what it got was hauled off the pavement, shoved in a metal box, and bounced down the street on its way to the shelter where the animal control officer was finally able to do his sad duty away from the eyes of “animal lovers” like you and any small children who might have been present.

Good job, dickhead. If you want to know who the asshole was in this situation, find a mirror and take a good long look. That’s the asshole who denied the poor suffering creature release from his pain. That’s the asshole who condemned the poor animal to a final painful ride to the shelter for the exact same outcome. The dog is dead. He was going to be dead either way. Instead of ending up dead immediately, you made sure he suffered another hour before he died. I pray that you are not treated the same way.

It all comes down to your selfishness. Your squeamishness cost that animal an hour of suffering. Instead of thinking of what was best for the animal, you demanded that your suffering be minimized and damn the cost to the dog. You gave our animal control officer a ration of shit because he was trying to do his job. He had to perform the most soul destroyingly painful part of our job, taking the life of an animal in his care, and you were such a baby about it that you made the whole situation worse. 

I’ll tell you what he was much to polite to tell you. Fuck you, Chris Gales of Raeford, NC. Fuck you. You had a chance to assist an animal and instead of thinking of that animal you thought only of yourself. Your first question to the animal control officer should have been “Can he be saved?” When you got told no, your second question should have been, “How can I help you end his suffering?” Then you should have done exactly as I did, many years ago and carried the dog to a safe location so that the animal control officer could carry out a final act of kindness for the poor creature. And you should have thanked him for it. You should have found it in yourself to tell that man, “Thank you for not making him suffer any longer.”

A man would have done these things. A man would have told any children nearby that putting the dog down immediately was an act of kindness. A man would have held those children and cried with them if he had to, but a man would have made them see the truth. Maybe when one of these children grew up he would not act like such a selfish ass and cause another poor animal another hour of suffering just so he could avoid dealing with reality.

But you, sir, are no man. You proved that with your actions. You proved that with how you treated the injured dog. You proved that by how you treated our animal control officer. And you proved it again when you penned your whiny letter.

Go away sir. Grownups are working.



Public Information Officer at Large

Providing Non-PC counseling to assholes who desperately need it.

3 responses to “This is why I can’t be a Public Information Officer (*Language Warning*)

  1. You are my hero.

  2. Rich Argentieri (Rich in NC)

    Don’t be shy Sean. Tell what you really feel, don’t, please don’t sugarcoat it.
    Rich in NC