Monthly Archives: April 2013

TV shows that should suck, but, for various reasons, don’t

OK, here’s a show that must have been dreamed up by a dude hitting the bong just a bit too hard.

Take one Portland PD detective. His aunt shows up, dying, tells him he’s the last of the Grimms. Which he knows, because his last name is Grimm. “No, you silly, like the Brothers Grimm. Famous monster hunters!” Umm, what?

Cop starts chasing a bunch of supernatural creatures around Portland, Oregon. His new best buddy and supernatural sidekick is a reformed “Big Bad Wolf” who likes to fix clocks and watches. His actual detective partner, a rather oblivious but good-natured black man, has no idea why Detective Grimm is suddenly drawing all the weirdo cases. And then finding that what he learns while solving the cases is more disturbing than the murders were. The boss cop is a sort of cross between Voldemort and a snappy dressing Chuck Schumer. He’s evil, against Grimms, but for some reason doesn’t slaughter him right away. The comic relief is an Asian beat cop who ends up doing a lot of their legwork.

 

If I pitched this, I’d get laughed out of every studio in four countries. They’d probably try to have my mental health checked. A supernatural police procedural? With monsters who are constantly defying stereotypes? You’ve got to be kidding me.

Yet it works. You kind of like all the characters. Especially the reformed Big Bad Wolf. He’s a hoot. More like a curious child than a nightmare horror. You even feel a bit sorry for the Chuck Schumer character when a cursed coin makes him think he’s the second coming of Benito Mussolini.

And the Asian cop? Awesome. I come from Los Angeles originally. When you live out west you get used to the fact that lots of Chinese descended Americans have lived in the US longer than most of our families. It’s cool to see a totally integrated American cop with an Asian face. They’ve been here since at least the Trans Continental Railroad. Time to start casting them like they are just another flavor of American, rather than Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan.

It’s on DVD on Netflix. Give it a watch, you’ll like it. I got a big laugh out of the shout out to Deadmau5. Who knows what part will make you crack up.

Quick thinking hotel clerk foils robbery

You all know that I favor the robbery prevention method of shooting the robber multiple times in the face. In my mind, the robber survives just long enough to regret all his bad life choices. Sometimes, however, discretion is the better part of valor.

Case in point, from Greensboro.

The man entered the lobby of the Howard Johnson Inn at 2004 Veasley St. about 9:55 p.m., approached the counter and demanded money from the clerk, police said.

But the clerk ran to safety instead and called police.

You can just see him standing there at the desk, thinking, “Hey, that’s not the way I’d planned it.” The robber fled the scene and is still at large.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to rob a person you can’t catch?

People die from “just give them what they want.” They cooperate, hand over the money and get shot dead. This clerk has grasped the basic principle that “if you can’t catch me, you probably can’t kill me.”

Win!

Who’s that lurking out my window?

There’s a creeper in Caldwell County, but luckily the police got him before something bad happened.

Caldwell County police have arrested and charged a Granite Falls man with one count of stalking and one count of secretly peeping into an occupied room.

What could happen, he’s just a creeper, right?

Suspect

who has been convicted of attempted rape.

Was he looking for an opening to try again?

Oh Noes! Five whole years?

Oh, those dastardly Republicans! They’re up to their racist voter suppression again!

People convicted of felonies who have paid their debts to society in North Carolina would no longer automatically get back the right to vote under the Senate’s version of the voter ID bill.

The bill would require people convicted of felony crimes to wait five years upon the completion of their sentence, probation or parole before they could attempt to re-register to vote. First, though, they would have to get affidavits from two registered voters attesting to their “upstanding moral character” and get the unanimous approval of their local board of elections.

Oh, how could they do this. Don’t they know it’s RACIST!

Critics say the bill is racially biased and is among a series of legislative initiatives designed to suppress the black vote following the re-election of President Barack Obama last year. Of the more than 40,000 people in North Carolina’s prisons in 2011 – 93 percent of whom were men – 57 percent were black, even though African Americans make up only 22 percent of the state’s population.

“This is essentially voter suppression for African American males who have been most disproportionately impacted by and entangled in the criminal justice system,” said Dennis Gaddy, director of the Community Success Initiative, a Raleigh-based nonprofit that advocates on behalf of ex-offenders at the General Assembly. “Taking away the vote from the formerly incarcerated has never been designed as a punitive measure, but as a way to suppress the vote.”

Look, I’ll make all you votes for felons people a deal. Let’s tie voting rights to gun rights. If they get to vote, they get to buy a gun.

What? Don’t like my compromise? Are you some sort of racist? Are you trying to keep black people from having guns?

Democrats stabbing each other

This is a bit disturbing

Police have charged a man with stabbing and seriously wounding two well-known Democratic political strategists at their home in North Raleigh on Monday evening.

I keep up with the local crime news, so I saw this yesterday. None of the three have any convictions in the NC criminal database, which is pretty unusual.

(Suspect 1) and (Victim 1) are natives of Lenoir and old friends. (Suspect) served as (Victim 1)’s best man at the couple’s wedding in 2009 and worked with (Victim 2) at Sky Blue, a political consulting group.

(Victim 1), 27, is well known among North Carolina Democratic political circles. He is an online strategist who has helped many politicians and non-profit organizations with direct mail and email campaigns.

All three are registered Democrats, and all three work directly in Democrat politics, so we can rule out angry Republicans.

The cops are kind enough to let us know that they don’t think it was “domestic” in nature. By that I’m assuming they are politely trying to say that it wasn’t some “love triangle” thing.

So unless we posit that the Dems are a criminal organization, this appears to be a case of three totally non-criminal people in an attempted (if she survives) murder. I imagine that the story will be interesting if the cops ever let us hear what actually happened.

On a side note. The names of the two political consultants. Who the heck named these two? Do their parents hate them? Or are names like that the NC equivalent of “Skipper” and “Muffy,” the sort of weird names that rich people give their kids?

The Boston bomber shootout in Watertown

I want you to go to a link and look at the first photo. It’s a clear photo of the two Boston bombers crouching in front of an SUV, shooting at the police.

I won’t steal his photo, so go look at it.

Now, tell me that my AR-15 wouldn’t have settled that argument rather decisively. I dare you.

Use the SGT Alvin York rules and shoot the one standing in the back before the one in the front.

“Suddenly a German officer and five men jumped out of the trench and charged me with fixed bayonets. I changed to the old automatic and just touched them off, too. I touched off the sixth man first, then the fifth, then the fourth, then the third, and so on. I wanted them to keep coming. I didn’t want the rear ones to see me touching off the front ones. I was afraid they would drop down and pump a volley into me.”

With the confusion of a gunfight it would probably never occur to them that they were taking fire from another direction.

My rifle is zeroed for 50 yards, so it would hit just slightly low at the 20 to 30 yards we are seeing here. It’s probably a gimme shot. Bang-Bang, Bang-Bang. If they move to continue the fight after getting shot, I’ve got another 16 rounds in the ready mag and 210 more in 30 round mags.

They are in a poor tactical position in any state but an anti-gun state like Massachusetts.

HT: Miguel

The cops catch second armed robbery suspect

Good news from Greensboro

Police arrested a 21-year-old man today in connection with a March armed robbery.

He was the second suspect.

Suspect 1

Suspect 2

Color me surprised.

How to make a billion dollars with anti-grav

Instapundit linked to a story on why we don’t have hoverboards. As if the silly skateboard things from Back to the Future II are anything but a lawsuit waiting to happen.

 

Nope, if anti-gravity is invented it won’t be hoverboards nor even cheap access to space that will be the moneymaker. It’ll be beds.

Think about it. How many times have you been lying in bed saying “The Gravity is Too Damn High!” while feeling totally exhausted after what should have been a good night’s sleep? What you need is the Grav-Number Bed.

Maybe your wife likes to sleep at the moons gravity level, with her Grav-Number set at 16. But what if you prefer Mars? Your Grav-Number would be 38.

Think about it. You get shoulder pain like I do from sleeping on your side? Lower gravity is the answer. Crick in your neck from ending up in an awkward sleeping position in your old Full Gravity bed? Lower gravity is the answer.

I would make a billion dollars.

No Tampa for me

I should be at the airport right now enjoying my free probulation with purchase of an airline ticket. Southwest had a seat, probably not a reserved seat, but a seat on a non-stop to Tampa, Florida for a work related conference. Unfortunately I coughed up blood this morning, so that kind of limits my travel options.

Let’s start with the good news. Doc took a chest x-ray and has pretty much ruled out Tuberculosis. That’s good. I thought that Val Kilmer did a great job as Doc Holliday in Tombstone, but I’m not really up for living like that. Some of the new strains of TB are so bad that pretty much nothing kills it. I was exposed to TB when I was in boot camp in the Navy. The Navy prescribed the 6 month course of Rifampicin which I took every single day without fail. In addition to making my pee and sweat orange (seriously), it was supposed to kill off all the TB germs, keeping me from ever getting it.

The bad news is that I’ve been coughing for pretty much 3 weeks straight. The last few days were so bad that in addition to the blood this morning, I’m in a lot of muscle pain in my back and I pulled a groin muscle. Yes, apparently you can pull a groin muscle if you cough hard enough. I’ve been having night sweats, and I’ve dropped 10 lbs in less than three weeks. To be honest, I’m not really worried about the weight loss. I could stand to lose another 30. But when you compare my symptoms to the symptoms of TB, you can see why I was worried. It’s the coughing that’s been the real trial.

Doc had me on a cough suppressant syrup called Tussionex. I worked during the day, and took Tussionex in the evening. It made me loopy. Luckily I’m a funny drunk, not an angry one. This stuff worries me as if you OD on it, you get loopy from the hydrocodone and the chlorpenairamine makes you bleed out of your eyeballs. I’ve been extremely careful with it.

Now my wife is sick. We’re both on some drugs to knock this stuff down, and we’re hoping to see it go away within the week, but we’re not supposed to travel or work during that time. This disappointed my boss, who expected me to come to Tampa for the work meeting, but when I explained about the coughing up blood he seemed to think it was best that I stay at home and recover. I can’t imagine the disruption to the company if I’d managed to pass this to every inspector east of the Mississippi plus most of the senior management.

The best news of all is that right now there’s a roast in the 6qt Crock Pot. It’ll be roast and potatoes for dinner and stew for the rest of the week. Even when she’s sick my wife knows how to throw down in the kitchen.

Some tenants are more trouble than they are worth

I try to be a good tenant. Landlords like me. This guy seems to have a different idea.

Police say the landlord killed Tuesday died from a gunshot to the head and was armed, but did not fire his weapon.

Just because you have a gun doesn’t mean you will have a chance to get it out.

Suspect

The victim doesn’t show up on the database, but interestingly, the story says this about him.

Court records show that (Victim) had been charged with numerous misdemeanors since 2004. But the charges — including one for carrying a concealed weapon — all appear to have been dropped. The weapon in the concealed weapons case was ordered destroyed, according to court records.

Hmm…