Category Archives: Rants

This is why I can’t be a Public Information Officer (*Language Warning*)

I just don’t have the patience to deal with self-centered assholes. (Language warning, obviously)

Jeers to Hoke County Animal Control. A dog was hit on U.S. 401 Business but was still breathing and whimpering. Animal Control was contacted. I sat and soothed the dog while they were on their way.

The officer who showed up was very rude and inhumane. He was going to shoot the poor dog on the side of the road in public view. He did not take into consideration the safety of others or that animal lovers like myself or a small child could have seen this.

Here’s the response this tool would have received from Sean, Public Information Officer-at-Large.

Dear Self-Centered Asshole,

Toughen up, Buttercup. While you were whining on the side of the road, trying to prove your “compassion,” our animal control officer was trying to keep the poor animal from suffering any longer. You see, our animal control officer actually loves animals. He took this job because there were assholes in this world who, out of meanness or plain self centeredness, would treat animals like shit. Some assholes beat or starve their dogs. Others are so horrified by death that they’d rather force an animal to endure another hour of suffering as well as a bumpy truck ride just so that they don’t have to actually see the dog be put out of his misery.

Do you see what I’m getting at here? That dog suffered. It suffered miserably. It had broken bones, was bleeding, and suffered terrible internal injuries. If it had a voice and could ask for what it needed, it would have asked you to end its suffering immediately. Instead, what it got was hauled off the pavement, shoved in a metal box, and bounced down the street on its way to the shelter where the animal control officer was finally able to do his sad duty away from the eyes of “animal lovers” like you and any small children who might have been present.

Good job, dickhead. If you want to know who the asshole was in this situation, find a mirror and take a good long look. That’s the asshole who denied the poor suffering creature release from his pain. That’s the asshole who condemned the poor animal to a final painful ride to the shelter for the exact same outcome. The dog is dead. He was going to be dead either way. Instead of ending up dead immediately, you made sure he suffered another hour before he died. I pray that you are not treated the same way.

It all comes down to your selfishness. Your squeamishness cost that animal an hour of suffering. Instead of thinking of what was best for the animal, you demanded that your suffering be minimized and damn the cost to the dog. You gave our animal control officer a ration of shit because he was trying to do his job. He had to perform the most soul destroyingly painful part of our job, taking the life of an animal in his care, and you were such a baby about it that you made the whole situation worse. 

I’ll tell you what he was much to polite to tell you. Fuck you, Chris Gales of Raeford, NC. Fuck you. You had a chance to assist an animal and instead of thinking of that animal you thought only of yourself. Your first question to the animal control officer should have been “Can he be saved?” When you got told no, your second question should have been, “How can I help you end his suffering?” Then you should have done exactly as I did, many years ago and carried the dog to a safe location so that the animal control officer could carry out a final act of kindness for the poor creature. And you should have thanked him for it. You should have found it in yourself to tell that man, “Thank you for not making him suffer any longer.”

A man would have done these things. A man would have told any children nearby that putting the dog down immediately was an act of kindness. A man would have held those children and cried with them if he had to, but a man would have made them see the truth. Maybe when one of these children grew up he would not act like such a selfish ass and cause another poor animal another hour of suffering just so he could avoid dealing with reality.

But you, sir, are no man. You proved that with your actions. You proved that with how you treated the injured dog. You proved that by how you treated our animal control officer. And you proved it again when you penned your whiny letter.

Go away sir. Grownups are working.



Public Information Officer at Large

Providing Non-PC counseling to assholes who desperately need it.

Please spread this video far and wide

You know that smartphone you’re using to shoot video? Yeah. Hold it horizontally jerk. 

Say no to George Lucas. Say no to Old Mila Kunis. Only shoot horizontal video

Ht: The Minuteman

Dianne you ignorant fool

Dianne Feinstein has managed to outdo herself.


 This is your official language warning.

Senator Feinstein, you are either you are trying to make a joke, or you are the most clueless person on the face of the fucking planet. Of course it would lead to a firefight. That’s what we want. Because the alternative to a firefight is what we had, a massacre.

The shooter, who shall remain nameless, wandered through the theater casually pumping bullets into defenseless people and you are stupid enough to think that a few bullets going the other way would be worse than an asshole shooting fish in a barrel.

You need to come back from planet dumbass and deal with reality. You can’t do what you want, which is ban citizen ownership of guns. So instead you persist in denigrating the chances of regular Americans of defending themselves.

Unfortunately for you, all that you’ve done is prove to everyone that you reside in Crazy Town. You’ve told everyone that it’s better for all concerned if they politely let themselves be murdered rather than fight back. Your idea of a civilized society is one where murderers are free to kill and citizens should mind their manners and just die already.

This is especially rich coming from a woman who hides behind armed guards every day. You don’t mind if a few people catch a bullet to protect your ignorant ass. It’s just when the peons think their lives are important enough to protect that you get angry.

Well, here’s a news flash buttercup. Here in North Carolina we already have more than one-quarter of a million citizens who have spent somewhere north of $150 to get official permission to carry a concealed handgun. Multiply that by the rest of the Shall Issue states and you have more people licensed to carry a gun than there are soldiers in the Red Chinese Army.

Every single day we are working to spread the Gospel of self-defense to the rest of our fellow citizens, to the point that last year North Carolina increased our number of Concealed Handgun Permits by over 20%. In North Carolina we managed to add something like 50,000 new permit holders to the rolls. That’s 50,000 people who plunked down cash money just to get a little wallet card from their county sheriff. We’re growing while your anti-gun, anti-freedom coalition is shrinking. There are now millions of citizens who have decided that when faced with the decision, die or fight back, they plan on fighting back.

And fight back they do. Every day there are stories of average citizens faced with criminals and crazies who pull a gun and defend themselves. No one makes a big deal about them because when a citizen defends himself we don’t have 12 dead bodies and over 50 wounded.

Don’t believe me that it’s possible?


You’re damned right we would have had a firefight.

Who does this remind you of? A Bleg


So the blood in the Denver theater shooting hasn’t even cooled and the usual suspects are already dancing in it.

Tell me that it doesn’t remind you of this…

Remove the piano, Schroeder, and Lucy, add a shooter and some blood and you have the typical CSGV anti-gun screed.

I need some help from all you artistic types out there. Please draw me Ladd Everitt dancing like Snoopy in a pool of blood. For reference, here’s Ladd.

I call this photo “Mistress PEG and the Pony Boys” because all that’s missing is a whip in the hands of Protest Easy Gun’s Abby Spangler and the other two dweebs dressed as Pony Boys

He’s the bald douche on the right.

He needs to have the stupid scraggly goatee and be wearing a tee-shirt with the square CSGV logo on it. Maybe even a “hoodie.”

Aren’t they SO tough looking?

Can anyone help me out?  Said Joseph Campbell:

“Shakespeare said that art is a mirror held up to nature. And that’s what it is. The nature is your nature, and all of these wonderful poetic images of mythology are referring to something in you.”

Yep. Someone PLEASE hold a mirror up to the anti-gunners’ nature.

Oh, how horribly cruel!

It was his first offense! He got 162 years! He will die in prison!

I mean, it could happen to anyone, right?
So this asshole, with his buddies, robbed seven places, shot at a dog, and then shot at a human?
Fuck him. I hope he dies (of old age) in jail.
Now if we could only convince the North Carolina justice system to treat criminals the same way.
The idiot liberals piss me off. First they want to take my guns away because of crime I’m not committing, and then they are pissing and moaning that assholes like this criminal are getting serious time for serious crimes.
Is it wrong of me to hope that they get victimized by the criminals they loose upon society instead of having them prey upon decent human beings?


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The Coalition to Stop Prosthetic Limb Violence statement on the recent attack in Gastonia, NC

Something must be done! A man was violently assaulted, with a weapon easily concealed even by a invalid in a wheelchair!

What’s the world coming to when a woman in a wheelchair can beat a man with impunity, using such an easily concealed weapon? Look around you. See all those people with legs and arms? Any one of them could be prosthetic. Any minute any of them could yank off that prosthetic and beat you with it!

Prosthetics are so good these days that they pass easily for real limbs. At least in the old days, people had to openly carry their prosthetics. They had big ugly hooks for hands, or were pirate style peg legs. Now we’re not condoning beating someone with a peg leg, but at least you knew that he was armed and could grab your children and get away!

These new super concealable limbs are given to anyone who is missing a limb, without any sort of background check. What’s especially dangerous is the legs. Logically, if a person attacks you with a prosthetic arm, they will only have one other arm to swing it with. If they have a leg, they have two arms to swing, making them extra deadly. Do you honestly look at another person’s leg? These super-concealable Assault Prosthetics, sold to anyone without a background check, are a positive hazard to you and your family!

We at the Coalition to Stop Prosthetic Limb Violence are working hard to bring background checks, permits, and registration to this completely unregulated hazard to you and your family. Please donate to the PayPal link above.

The CSPLV is working hard to prevent prosthetic limb violence to you and your family by advocating strong legislation against loaded, hidden assault prosthetics carried in public.

Update: on Twitter, GreenMeanie01 says we should especially ban those that have the “shoulder thing that goes up

Note: There are always some people who will land on this page without understanding that this is a gun blog. It is possible, though not likely, that they will not see the humor in this satire of the Coalition to Stop Gun Violence, a group of absolute loonies who pretend that violence is caused by the weapon, and not by the person using that weapon. If you are so humor impaired that you can’t see why the above satire is funny, please don’t make it worse by leaving nasty comments. You’ll just make people laugh at you. The PayPal account on the sidebar is live, but no money you give me will be used to combat “prosthetic limb violence.”


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Why you are wrong on Amendment 1, the “Gay Marriage Amendment” (language warning)

Here is your official language warning. If you want to avoid naughty words, go elsewhere.
Are you voting for or against the “Gay Marriage Amendment?” The latest iteration of this amendment is here in North Carolina. It reinforces NC State law that bans same sex marriage from being recognized. That State law could be overturned by the NC State Supreme Court on whatever grounds that they might dream up, kind of like how the US Supreme Court made up some silly reason why they should overturn laws against birth control. All they really have to do is squint hard enough to find an umbra or penumbra under an emanation and they can twist the Constitution into saying whatever they want to say. With this Amendment, the NC courts can’t overturn that law.
So, Yes, the State should recognize same sex marriages or No, they should not?
WRONG! You are so fucking WRONG!
Before we have a discussion of which side to take in an argument, we need to carefully explain both positions. We basically have two sides
A.      The State has the power to determine who is and is not lawfully married, and can not extend that to persons of the same sex.
B.      The State has the power to determine who is and is not lawfully married, and it can, must, shall extend that to  persons of the same sex.
You’ve got to chose one side or the other, right?
Fuck no you don’t! Look at the premise! Where did the a government functionary wielding a pen get the power to declare my marriage to my wife valid? Who gave that asshole the power to say anything at all about my relationships? Fuck him, his wife, his boyfriend, and everyone he ever knew! Get the hell out of my personal life!
When you start from false premises, you cannot possibly arrive at correct conclusions no matter what you end up deciding. The NC requirement to have a marriage license appears to date from 1871. So this State bumped along for 100 years in and out of the Union and for another 50 years prior as a colony without it being required for an official to issue a piece of paper calling a marriage valid.  Does anyone know what was happening in the 1871 time frame? Can you figure out what they were trying to achieve with this paperwork requirement?
In this we have two sides who are both arguing that the State has a power. I don’t believe that the State should have that power. Instead of having the reasonable argument of “should the state have the power to decide what is and is not a valid marriage” we are stuck arguing who gets in to the tent. It’s a classic way that statists convince two groups to fight each other while increasing the power of the statists.
-Some will argue that we need marriage licenses to prove to the IRS that you should be filing married rather than single.
Fuck you, fix the tax code.
-Some will argue that we need marriage licenses so that employers will pay for your spouse’s health care.
Fuck you, pay and benefits are a private contract between you and your employer. Figure it the fuck out without involving a bunch of assholes in the State House.
-Some will say we need marriage licenses to prevent too close of relatives from marrying or too many people from getting married to each other, or people of the wrong sex from getting married to each other.
That’s the long and short of it. Get the fuck out of my personal life. You are too much of a pussy to do it yourself (this is a gun blog, you can work out for yourself what the consequences would be) so you send a government agent to be a snoop for you. Well double fuck you, you nosey coward.
All you gay people who want to get married so you can live just like me, go fuck yourselves. You are just getting suckered into propping up a bureaucracy. You aren’t getting a marriage, you’re getting a piece of that bureaucracy. Hold hands, declare to one and all that you are married, and set up shop. Get the necessary legal paperwork together naming each other as beneficiaries and get some health care powers of attorney done up. Then enjoy irritating the assholes who disapprove. Stick it to the Man! (that’s not what I meant!) If you need firearms training so you can handle those who do more than simply disapprove, let me know.
All you anti-gay people who want to make sure that none of the fags get to live just like me, fuck you too. The asshole statists who want all power and permission to flow from them have suckered you into arguing FOR statists. You have accepted that those assholes have the power to determine what is and is not a valid legal relationship. You added to their power and subtracted your own. YOU GOT PLAYED, Fucker! Don’t you feel stupid?
Here’s the deal. I’m married because I chose to stand before my family, my wife’s family, and our friends and declare that I was married. My wife is married because she made the same declaration at that same time. It pisses me straight the fuck off that some shithead in the government thinks that the stupid piece of paper we signed constitutes a marriage. I don’t see his stupid ass paying the bills or cleaning the toilet around here.
If two people wish to have a  relationship, that’s their business. If seven people want to set up a household together, raise their kids, pay their bills, and have wild group sex every Tuesday, that’s also their business. (assuming they leave the kids out of the group sex part) Mind your own fucking business.
You know, so many problems can be solved if people would just remind themselves that they should just
No one is dying. No one is being enslaved. No one is getting raped, robbed, or tortured. It’s not a crime, so keep your nose out.

This rant brought to you by dumbasses like this.


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Low flow toilets are a plot against marriage

My tinfoil hat rant of the month.

People like to tout the difference in voting patterns between men and women. Women are more likely to vote for liberal (usually Democrat) candidates while men are more likely to vote for conservative (usually Republican) candidates. What they generally miss is that the gap actually exists between married women and single women. The unmarried women are more likely to vote for liberal candidates.

Low flow toilets were mandated in the Energy Policy Act signed by George H.W. Bush in 1992. Rather than use the previous norm of about 3.5 gallons per flush, they now use 1.6 gallons per flush. I think that this was one of the most self defeating laws ever signed by a Republican.

I think that low flow toilets are an insidious plot against marriage because they don’t work very well. A man goes to do his business and flushes the toilet. Generally he gets out quickly, trusting that any competent engineer would have designed a toilet that properly moves the waste products out of the bowl and into the sewer. Men trust that the guys with the slide rules and the green eyeshades know what they are doing and generally have more important things to do that supervise what is essentially water flowing downhill. Unfortunately, what really happened was that the toilet engineers were overridden by bureaucrats who thought they knew better. The bureaucrats decided that it was a moral imperative that they reduce the amount of water being used to flush the toilet.  Men, being unlikely to feel the need to supervise their household conveniences, got blindsided with this.

The practical effect of the reduction of water flow is that for the last 20 years, as these toilets have been phased in, men have caught hell for not flushing the toilet. Their wives get angry because there’s a little floating present left behind in the bowl. Now this won’t end a strong marriage, but it could add stress to an already shaky one. When spread over a few million marriages, who knows how many were negatively affected?

I think that the environmentalists, who have always been part of the far left in America, realized a long time ago that by adding stress to already shaky marriages, they could grow the number of divorced women, who are more likely to vote for liberal candidates.

It’s a plot, I tell you! A plot!


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Who can afford a a Chevy Volt anyway?

Welcome Instapundit readers: I am primarily a gun blogger. For those of you following the Gunwalker scandal, I still have lots of Gunwalker T-Shirts available. Don’t miss your chance to own the Official Shirt of the Gunwalker Scandal.

Via Instapundit, a North Carolina home was damaged in an electrical fire that started at or near the Siemens electrical vehicle charger and Chevy Volt in the garage.

Sounds bad, but that’s not what I want to talk about.
I couldn’t do $800K worth of damage if I burned down my house, my neighbors house, and the apartment building behind us, and this was just the damage from a garage fire! You can see from the videos at the link that the home is still standing.
As a reminder, Chevy Volts get a tax incentive of $7,500, and cost about $41,000. Does a person who lives in a home big enough to suffer $800,000 worth of damage really deserve $7,500 worth of our tax money just to buy an electric powered a coal powered car?
Tax credits like this merely take from those too poor to afford a coal fired white elephant and give to those that already live in mansions.

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Turn off your 4-way flashers you idiot! (Language Warning)

We need to find and identify the Patient Zero in this new outbreak of automotive stupidity. And then we need to kick his ass until his nose bleeds.
What am I talking about? I want to know who thought up the stupid fucking idea to turn on his or her 4-way flashers when driving in the rain. This has got to be one of the dumbest ideas in motoring since the Corvair. If you’re one of those assholes who likes to turn on your 4-ways while driving in the rain, let me enlighten you. 4-way flashers are fucking annoying. They grab your attention and force you to look at them. Now combine that with the fact that you are keeping up with traffic, and I can’t pass you. Now I have to look at the God damned things for the next 10 miles until I can safely pass you. In the rain.
Here’s a fucking clue. If it’s raining, and you’re worried that no one can see you, turn on your fucking headlights. It’s written in the damned law that you need to turn on your headlights. If you turn on the bright white lights in the front, the red lights on the back come on automatically! It’s like fucking magic! And they don’t annoy the shit out of the poor sap that has to follow your dumb ass down the rain soaked highway at 70 miles an hour!
Yesterday I had to drive from Columbia, South Carolina all the way to Butner, North Carolina. It rained hard until I got to about the Greensboro, North Carolina area. That’s about 200 miles. I lost count of the number of assholes who thought 4-way flashers were a neat idea. Two fuckheads stood out as the worst offenders, the dumb ass in the Prius, and the raving asshole in the Mercedes.
The Prius driver didn’t bother with the headlights. I mean, it’s mostly dark, and raining cats and dogs, why would you need headlights? Just turn on the 4-ways and blind everyone, making the drive even more unsafe!
The Mercedes pilot was probably an attention whore. The 4-ways were just another way to get people to look at him. It was raining hard. I was driving the speed limit and was passing people. This brain surgeon was running up the highway in the driving rain at 5 to 10 over the speed limit and weaving in and out of cars, rocking the 4-ways, passing us all. I kept hoping to see him slide off the road so I could laugh at him. No luck. As he passed me, I got a big dopey grin from his dog, hanging his head out of the open rear windows. In the driving rain. At 75-80 miles per hour. I hope the driver dies in a fire.
News flash fuck-o’s, 4-way flashers are used to signal emergency conditions. If you are driving SIGNIFICANTLY slower than the speed limit, turn them on. And if you aren’t a trucker going up a steep grade, GET THE FUCK OFF THE HIGHWAY! If you can’t keep up, get off. If your engine dies, or your car is in some way disabled, go ahead and hit the flashers. Then get off the highway. If you have to pull over in an unsafe location, turn on the flashers. It makes it easier to see you and avoid hitting you. It also tells the cops that you need help. But if you can keep up with the flow of traffic, TURN THOSE DAMN THINGS OFF!
Tell all your friends. Tell all your enemies. Post this to Facebook. Turn off the 4-way flashers in the rain. If there was any justice in the world, cops would pull you over for that and treat you like you were Rodney King. You are a positive hazard to everyone around you. Stop it NOW.

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